Jen's Kitty
by jerrypoordaniel
Summary: The crowd get entangled in dealing with the controversial detective Sherlock Holmes by going undercover for the government... Roy and Moss have to transform Jen into looking and acting like a journalist to play the part of Kitty.


I own neither anything dealing with the IT Crowd or Sherlock. But it'd be pretty cool if a crossover between the two did exist. All right, enjoy! It's in a dialogue format.

* * *

_The crowd is in their natural habitat: Moss and Roy at their desks, Jen reading a magazine on the sofa._

Moss: Jen?

Jen: Yes, Moss?

Moss: You know how you're always going off about how you want to have a more respectable job and be recognized in a work environment?

Roy: And how basically we're just merely parasites infesting your existence?

Jen: Roy! I do not feel like you guys are pests! You're my… friends…

Moss: (_gets up and stands over couch)_ But we're not your_ friend_ friends, are we Jen?

Jen: Shoo shoo! _(waves Moss away, and Moss sits back down)_ Moss, what was your point again?

Moss: WELL, I've been thinking that MAYBE part of your problem is that you're too focused on trying to find a stable job that is in a traditional work environment. Maybe, what you need, Jen, is a bit more _pizazz _to your life! Adventure! Heartbreak! And an opportunity every evening to sit in front of the telly and eat whatever the flip you wanted because you're flippin' Jen! You should be something like a skydiving instructor or a belly dancer!

Roy: Oooh, I think you should listen to Moss, Jen; he seems to have an action-packed life cut out for you.

Moss: _(offended)_ Tch, I do indeed! Why are you being so frightfully negative today Roy?

Jen: Yeah, Roy, what's up your bum?

Roy: Oh, you guys… well… it's just that well… have you been following with the popular blogs?

Moss: Oh Roy! You're not going to go on about that Sherlock bloke, are you?

Jen: What are you guys talking about?

Moss: Roy has a large infatuation with an online Internet blogger – well, more accurately, an infatuation with the hero of the blogger's stories.

Roy: It's not an _infatuation_; that just makes it sound creepy. It's an interest. There's this bloke, his name's John Watson, and he writes these stories about all of these police investigation cases that he and his flat mate, Sherlock Holmes, solve. John used to be in the army and a doctor. Sherlock, though, is just sort of this really smart, really cold bloke that can look at you and tell you everything from which paper you read yesterday morning to jammies you slept in last night.

Moss: Oh, but Roy, he'd already know that one! Heh heh heh! That's a zinger on your bum!

Roy: _(defiantly) _Moss, I'm not attracted to him, all right! He's just a fascinating example of the human mind is all… anyway, the reason why I've been glum is because there are some forums that discuss the blog and one of them was arguing about how they think Sherlock's a fake and I got really angry and sent some notes back saying how he wasn't, but now the screen is frozen on a single window that popped up and I can't get out of it.

_(Moss and Jen circle around Roy's desk and see that a single window is open, with the text "Come outside, we're waiting. –MH" on the screen)_

Roy: I mean, how creepy is that?

_(The screen goes black. Then, the window pops up again reading different text. This time, it says "Roy, Moss, and Jen, your decisions could determine the possible fall of our very nation. Please come outside Reynholm Industries at once. –MH")_

Moss: Now THAT'S creepy. Oho boy! This is even more intense than Google's behavioral targeting scheme!

Jen: Wha-wha-what does this mean? Does the machine know we all personally exist? Does it know I haven't been productive in the last 2 days?

Roy: No, it means someone's hacked us…

_(The screen goes black again. It comes on again. This time it reads "I'll prove it to you that this is urgent. Moss's hard drive will explode in 3, 2-")_

Moss: MY PRECIOUS HARD DRIVE! IT'S ON FOUR! I MEAN FIVE! I MEAN FIRE!

Roy: Here, let me handle this, you buffoon. I actually _know _how to use a fire extinguisher. _(He puts it out)_ Well, I guess we should see who our mystery "friend" is.

_(They exit the building and see a black car. The back seat window slides down. Anthea sits, texting on her blackberry.)_

Anthea: Come along, we don't have all day.

Roy: Pardon?

Anthea: _(with a grave look of condescension)_ Get in.

Moss: Roy! My mum always told me not to get in the car with strangers! And she's a pretty stranger, Roy! What if it's all a trap! What if we're being taken to the dentist! Or worse, what if she's going to shave us and use our hair to test various shampoo products with it!

Anthea: Moss, do you want your hard drive to set fire again?

Moss: …No ma'am.

Anthea: Then I'd suggest you three get in, then.

Jen: Umm, excuse me? How long are we going to be out for? I have a presentation later this afternoon –

Anthea: A presentation that you're going to give for a job you loathe? Really, aren't I sparing you the trouble?

Jen: _(thinks about this)_ Yeah, I guess you're right.

_(The three get in the van, and they head off)_


End file.
